Taking Responsibility for Your Role in Conflict with Adam Reynolds

Learn from Adam Reynolds, who has more than two decades of experience coaching individuals navigating conflict. Adam is principal owner at Adam Reynolds Leadership. Join Seasons Leadership Co-Founders Susan Ireland and Debbie Collard for part 2 of their discussion with Adam about conflict. Together they explore the different roles of the triangle of blame and strategies to successfully navigate conflict in each position – victim, offender and rescuer. 

Show notes

(1:34) Debbie asks Adam about how he stays objective when coaching someone through conflict. Adam reveals his mindset (2:08) to help people have clarity on what they are seeking. He also talks about the importance of recognizing when you are in a pattern of blame. Adam affirms the powerful emotions that come with venting (3:52) but how people need to learn to move beyond that (4:35).

The group explores the victim power dynamic (6:30) and how resolution is possible (9:10). They turn back to the allure of being the rescuer (10:15) and Susan points out that it is easier to be objective in a business context then in your own family (10:40). Adam gives tips on how to be more neutral (11:45) but he and Susan circle back to the emotions that come into play (12:52) and Adam asserts that the more you are part of the result that can be created the more it matters to you (13:22).

(13:49) Debbie asks how do you move out of the rescuer role? Adam talks about the process of getting out, (16:10) examining from a position of wanting power and ultimately taking responsibility (18:13) as key. Adam shares (18:50) that it is easy to give people advice on what to do when you don't need to do it and that the best thing is to go towards the conflict (20:52). The group agrees that the trigger for the start of the triangle is the victim role (24:12) and that they have the power to circumvent a lot of bad energy (26:14) by taking responsibility first.

The offender role in the triangle also is addressed (28:15) and Adam gives advice on moving into curiosity. Adam shares his bigger belief (31:15) that victims being right does not get them power. This is where, Adam asserts, the controversy lies (31:35). The leaders then discuss how to practically employ conflict resolution (33:00) and Adam shares final thoughts on conflict resolution as a practice one must be attentive to (34:05). Next, Susan and Debbie (36:00) break down learnings from the 2-part discussion with Adam.

Listen to part 1: Finding Your Power in Conflict with Adam Reynolds - Seasons Leadership Podcast